Written Proof

2010-09-06T16:29:00.000-07:00

The honeymoon is over as are my delusions of becoming the Rainbow Brite of creative writing teachers. Remember Rainbow Brite, the most colorful girl in the world? If not, you are too young and should stop reading this post and wait for the next. If you do, then you may find the humor in one my student’s…shall we call it an excuse?…for missing class on the day we had our first short story due: he was tired and over slept (our class meets at 10:00 am). Whaa?

As we head into week two I am already forced into the position of rule enforcer. I’m accepting the advice of the MFA program director, who ensures me it is easier to be tough earlier on than halfway through the semester. True slackers will drop the course because they weren’t serious in the first place and you’re better off without them. Invested students will work hard to overcome the deficit and you can choose to reward them at the end of the semester when they’ve earned it.

I know I drew on a parent metaphor in my last post, but I’m going there again because I can’t help but compare the get-tough-early-theory to my philosophy on threatening kids with punishment: it only takes carrying through on the threat once to make the threat a weapon. Fail to carry through and they’ll not only ignore you, but laugh like diabolical little villains while doing it. I’ll have to practice my stern “mom” face before I head into the next class.

2010-09-01T04:16:00.000-07:00

Here’s the deal: I’m teaching a university-level creative writing class this semester and one of the assignment’s I’ve given my students is to write a weekly blog post. They can write on the assigned readings or the writing process or both, but it’s got to be every week. The point is to write as much as possible as often as possible because if there is one rule of writing that I have found to be true it is the more you write, the closer you get to discovering what you have to say.

I’m taking my own advice and reviving this dead blog to write about teaching the reading and writing of fiction (and later in the semester poetry). For my part, I hope to discover what insight teaching can bring to my own writing process. The workshop process has been vital in allowing me to gain perspective on my own writing and I believe that teaching can do the same. Objectivity is much easier to achieve when we are observing the work of others, like wondering why the parents of the obnoxiously loud kid at a restaurant don’t take him outside when your own child is under the table rolling around in bits of fallen food.

The first few weeks of class we will be discussing various short stories, trying to pin down what Peter Elbow calls the “center of gravity” for each and identifying the techniques each writer uses to communicate that center to the reader. They have a short short story due this Friday (300-600 words) and I want them to revisit their first drafts before handing them in, see if they can figure out the main point of their lovely prose—if they can’t find it, what chance has the reader got?

I’m looking forward to reading what they come up with.

2009-07-29T13:44:00.000-07:00

I’m the worst kind of blogger. The kind who constantly scans her favorite blogs, irritated that they’re not updated, while my own goes dormant for a month or two at a time. The shame is…actually, it’s not that bad. I’m pretty comfortable with my double standard. So all you slackers out there, Diane, Leaf, Heidi, the rest of you. Get back to work! I’m bored!

I have to thank Angie for bringing the long leisurely summer I’m enjoying to a screeching halt by reminding me it’s almost over. I’m usually all for the start of a semester, and I’m especially excited to start my grad classes, but for once I am sad to say goodbye to my freedom. Of course, I’m writing this while Greta naps and Alex is upstairs playing nicely in his room.

Spent last weekend at the beach by myself writing and got rolling with a story that there’s no hope of finishing in the next two and a half weeks. So what if it is the sequel to a novel that still needs revised (and retyped before that)? I love this beginning part. It’s even more fun than reading and anyone who knows me understands this is about as good as it gets.

I’m not even reading anymore. I can hear you gasping, but it’s true. I haven’t picked up a book since Heather suckered me into reading the stupid, addictive Twilight series. Okay, I have, but only one and I read it very, very fast. I give Heather a hard time for erasing a couple of weeks of my summer, but I should thank her. The books were a reminder of all the great addictive books I’ve read, a reminder that I started writing to tell my own addictive story. I think I spent so much time critically studying books that I almost forgot this little detail. Not a bad lesson to relearn as I head into the semester.

2009-06-02T13:58:00.000-07:00

Summertime, and the livin’ is…well, not easy, but I am getting some reading done. I’ve decided to keep a list this summer. Usually I plow through as many pages as possible and come up for air sometime in mid August wondering if I met somebody named Briony over the summer or read about her. Thus far (two and a half weeks, including Costa Rica) I have read The Memory Keeper’s Daughter by Kim Edwards, Atonement by Ian McEwan, The Brief Wondrous Life of Oscar Wao by Junot Diaz, The Tenth Circle by Jodi Picoult and The Abstinence Teacher by Tom Perrotta. I liked them all, but would only highly recommend the Diaz with out knowing for whom I’m recommending the book. Also some short stories, but I’m not counting them.

Now, I'm beginning Postcolonial Theory, A Critical Introduction—one of the many books I’ve checked out to further my research on a paper, for which I’ve already received my grade (an A, natch.) I didn’t have enough time to write the paper I wanted, though, and there are some contests I can enter. Why not write it right? Right?

Even though I’m done with school, and Greta’s done, Alex still has two weeks left. I can’t wait until we’re all off and I don’t have to worry about the stupid 7:20 am bus stop. That’s right, 7:20, people—and I am over it. I’m putting this in print for a reason, because I am sure that in a few months, I will be willing to put either kid on any bus at any time of day just to have a moment to myself.

2009-05-14T09:08:00.000-07:00

Taking a break from cleaning. Cleaning so I can leave the house sparkly for the in-laws. The in-laws are coming tomorrow to watch the kids so Jeremy and I can take a break in Costa Rica. Relaxing in Costa Rica to celebrate finally being done with the undergrad degree that felt like a life-long project, but really only took four years just like everyone else.

Funny, I don’t feel educated.

Good thing I start again in the fall, working on a Graduate degree. Sooner or later I’ll have to get a job, I know. But for now I’m glad to keep studying and I‘m very excited to focus on my writing.

I felt compelled to post here before I leave Sunday. I’m not sure what to do with myself over the summer. It’s been two years since I had a break from classes (and my last “break” was to have a baby.) Perhaps the blog will get dusted off…then again, perhaps it won’t.

I’m experimenting on myself in Costa Rica, curious what subtle or significant effects travel has on the writer. How are expression, habit, and craft effected by a change of scenery? We shall see…

2009-02-20T08:40:00.000-08:00

How to Waste an Hour*

Get the computer.
Take the computer to a spot by a heater vent.
Check e-mail.
No new e-mails? Check the Yahoo home page for interesting articles.
No interesting articles? Log on to New York Times website. After all, there is a seriously failing economy out there. A war going on. Endless important topics to read about.
Go to the Book Review page.
Pick a book you wish you’d written and read the review.
Follow the link for another author mentioned in the review because you like his name and want to see what else he’s written.
Remember you were in the middle of a review and make your way back to said review.
Follow the link to the university where the writer used to teach as it’s on the list of graduate programs to which you’ve applied.
Repeat step nine.
When you finish the review, look at the clock: voila! One hour spent not exercising (or writing, or cleaning house, etc.)

(Bonus 15 minutes: write a blog entry about how to waste an hour.)

*Results may vary. It may take practice to reach a full hour. Keep trying, you’ll get there!

2008-12-18T18:53:00.000-08:00

As promised (threatened,) POETRY! It comes with the disclaimer that the most important thing I learned in poetry class this semester is that I'm not a poet. However, I also learned that writing poetry is fun and, well, fun. There are no rules, people! you don't have to use punctuation capitalization prahper spelling you get to make it all up, and it doesn't have to be good to make you feel better.

Incline Terrace

We’re lying
on the side of a hill
in the middle of a city.
One swatch of fresh mown
grass, one small park without a public.
Our inclined oasis. A playground on a fault line.
One rainy afternoon we hid here,
in the open, where no one
would look.
How fearless
we were on the swings,
aiming for those fat raindrops.
Across the street, we learned to play house.
And we claimed this park for dreams
and for watching the sun set.
But now, rather than march home against
the pull of gravity, we will leave behind this mountain of support
and venture into the vast blue together
despite the storm barreling this way.
Did we both see the grey on the horizon, or was it just me?
Either way, I’m glad I’m not alone.
Ahead, the open western sky,
More than the eye can hold without
Breaking the gaze.

A Mother’s Tale

Past

We stood in a long line for that picture.
The kids smiled, unlike some of the others—
they screamed. We were lucky.

When we unpack the decorations
the pictures with Santa will smile up
from the bottom of the box.

Not the tantrum on the way out.
The threats that caused us all to shout
then pout and waste an afternoon.

Present

There are moments,
warm and bright as early summer sunshine,
when it all feels natural as bare feet.

There are entire days,
bracketed by darkness on each end,
when I would give up anything,

even the buttery summer sun,
for the long drawn out peace of my own mind
at rest on the contour of a shadow.

Future

Instincts fierce as any animal and
about as little reason.

Never enough patience, but a never-ending
supply of occasions to try again.

Complete disregard for personal appearance, which
helps when singing in public.

Guaranteed regrets, knowing too late that you had it
good…hard, but good.

2008-11-04T16:59:00.000-08:00

Get’cher vote on!

This might be the first time that my personal presidential voting effort counts. My vote never counted in Utah, I was out numbered by the Mormons. In Virginia it’s been the Old White Southern vote vs. the rest of ya’ll. It’s just before 8pm here. We’ll know soon. Either way, taking part in this election has been exciting and a privilege.

2008-08-15T12:11:00.000-07:00

Summer’s almost over and I did not get enough salt water. When I’m not by the sea, I dream about the sea. Here’s an ocean piece that I made using a piece of wood from the shed and my kids’ paintings ripped into pieces and collaged.

We were fortunate to get an invitation to spend the weekend on the shore in Beaufort, NC with the Hogans at the home of David’s very generous and hospitable Mom. Thank you Lucy and Barry! When I grow up I want to be just like you: in, on, and by the water. We got even more luck to arrive in Beaufort the same night as the pirate invasion, an annual event in which “pirates” (people who like to drink grog (grog is anything you like to drink!)) gather to reenact the towns’ siege by Black Beard. We dressed up the boys and walked around. They thought they’d died and gone to sword-wielding, argh-snarling heaven. Greta carried a fish around all night long. She’s my pacifist.

Other than our trip to the coast and another to D.C., we’ve been home all summer. I’m ready for school to start. Alex, Greta and I will all head our separate ways for at least a few hours a few times a week. I’m so lucky to have had such an intimate summer with them. I don’t think Alex and Greta would be such good friends with out having been on top of each other for three months. But I’m starting to feel like a three-headed monster. Bring on the books.

2008-07-28T10:33:00.000-07:00

We are officially in terrible two territory. Lucky for us, she’s cute. Her hat says “Little Miss Chatterbox” and I cannot think of a more perfect moniker for Greta right now. She starts out talking in the morning, slowly at first, mumbling to herself in her crib about tickling her toes or picking her way through a song she kind of knows. Then, she begins to call for me, Mama, where are you? I’m ready to get up. Still, she sounds sweet and sleepy, but once I pop my head into the room she’s off at break-neck pace, Good morning, mommy. Did you have a good night’s sleep? Are those your pajamas? Is that my milk? I want to lay down on your bed. Cover me up with a blanket. (breath) Where’s Daddy? Is Daddy at work? Did he ride his bike…and so it goes until around eight that night with a two-hour break in the afternoon when she naps. At her two-year check up they asked if she was saying twenty words. I said, yeah, twenty words a minute.

Alex is having a very low-key summer. We signed him up for a couple of camps, but for the most part he’s been hanging around the house being a very good big brother when he’s not begging to watch TV or have a friend over for a play date. We bought a trailer bike to hook on to Jeremy’s commuter bike and with Greta in the bike seat on my old tank we’ve been heading out for family rides the last couple of weeks. Family fun for all and no $4 gasoline!

We’ve had lots of visitors this summer. Shari, Jalyssa and Tavian, Jesse and Sarin. Kimberly and her crew. Between guests and summer school and taking the GRE I’ve still found time to polish a few stories. I’m also working on all of the required pieces for my grad school applications. We have one more trip to the beach in North Carolina planned and maybe another camping trip, but I think August is going to evaporate pretty fast.

2008-05-20T11:38:00.000-07:00

Humble ∏

Need to be taken down a notch? Try being an English major taking her first math class since sometime in the mid ’90’s. I’m taking the course condensed over the summer to get it over with as quickly as possible, which means five weeks of math class four nights a week. Ugh. I’m not thrilled, but let’s face it people—I can use the refresher course.

Since my last entry, my computer crashed so this summer I’ll be spending my time retyping the few stories I have hard copies of and trying not to dwell on the stuff that’s lost. I’ll also be taking the GRE in preparation for grad school applications that I’ll send out at Christmas time. See there, I’m already finding use for my new and improved math skills.

Right now I’m retyping and revising my story Sick Day. It’s about a mother home with sick kids for the day, but she’s reflecting on a time a few years ago when she lost it with the kids and took off for the weekend. I’m surprised at how difficult it is to write about ugly mom moments. There are times most days when I’m embarrassed or ashamed by my behavior as a mom, when I said something too mean, too loud, or too short. It’s not easy to talk about them to other people, even other moms, even for made-up moms.

Despite my many flaws, I do manage a few brilliant mom ideas and pulling the small bike out of storage yesterday was one of them. I intended it to be a non-training wheel bike for Alex to practice on, but he seems fine with training wheel life and I couldn't keep Greta off the thing, so Jeremy put back together what I took apart and ta-da - summer fun in the making. It's going to be a busy summer, but I'm ready for camping and playing with the kids.

2008-02-28T20:19:00.000-08:00

The dog ate my blog.

Or at least the time I'd spend writing it. That's my latest excuse anyway. I came up with it while adding to the collection of dog hair in the dust pan this afternoon.

I've been an essay writing fool this semester, so even though I haven't been a prolific poster I've been busy composing. However, I'll spare you all my fascinating insights on German national Identity and the ethics of public relations media. You're welcome.

I'm writing this post at the end of a late night writing session. Late night around here = 11:30 pm. Lame, but I do have a meet and greet appointment with Greta and Alex around 6:30 am and days with a one- and six-year-old require a well-reseted mama. I've been working on fleshing out an old story for my fiction writing workshop. For a week I've tossed the old piece around my head, trying to critically pull it apart, find my most typical flaws and at least fix those before passing it around to workshop. I had ideas, insights, but no actual flesh for the fleshing out until I was exercising today. I think it's Natalie Goldberg who recommended driving as a way to regain forward momentum in story. I can add walking to that list.

I've got spring break coming up in a few weeks. Then a visit from my sister, niece, and nephew, and a few weeks later a trip to SLC. With so many excuses to choose from I'll be able to leave the poor dog out of it.

2008-01-10T10:46:00.000-08:00

Buon Anno Nuovo!
I’m luxuriating in the four days that will constitute my winter break this year. I decided to save myself the hell of taking two classes over the summer semester (which would mean I’d have class every night of the week for about 4 weeks and two nights a week for an additional six or seven) and signed up for an intersession course – a two week term, six days a week from 9:00 to 1:00. I was looking forward to the break from the house and the chance to switch places with Jeremy for about a week as he was home from work and stayed with the kids. He even did three loads of laundry and one day I came around the corner to see him swiftering the floors. I almost swooned. I said “Oh, my God, you’re swiftering!” To which he replied, “Not funny.” I wasn’t joking.
While it was nice to get out the house for an extended period of time for a much-needed break from domesticity, I missed Greta like crazy. As tough as the stay-at-home-mom gig can get, I feel very lucky to have been able to take care of both Alex and Greta full time in their first two years.
The class I took was American Horror, for which we were required to read a wide range of ghost/monster/creepy short stories, watch films, and read one novel, “I Am Legend” by Richard Matheson. The instructor was great, the literature was too, but some of the movies were a little out of my interest zone, especially the two documentaries we had to watch on the splatter films of the 70’s and 80’s. Disgustoso! I did, however, get to watch “Invasion of the Body Snatchers” and “The Thing” for the first time. What fantastic films. I can’t believe I’d never seen them. It was an intense course. I basically sat in class all day, came home, fed the kids, put them to bed and read all night and got up in the morning to start all over. And one weird side note: the entire time I was studying and reading of the horrific and terrible, Greta had nightmares and woke up screaming almost every night. Coincidence?
Now I’m faced with a house that is covered in miniature tumbleweeds of dog hair and a notebook that hasn’t been touched in a very long time. December was a crazy month. Greta was teething for most of it, then she got an ear infection and chest cold. Christmas came and went in a blur and as soon as it was over, literally – 12:15 am Christmas night – the stomach flu hit and made it’s way through the family. Now that I’m done with class (for a few days) and everyone is back to health, work, and school I have a few minutes of down time to catch up on the various things I enjoy, but that otherwise serve no practical need – unless you consider sanity practical. As a mom of two and a full time student, as long as I’m not muttering to myself loud enough for others to hear, I call it sane.
I hope everyone is off to a good start in 2008. I’m looking forward to a busy, but stimulating semester. Maybe I’ll even find the inspiration to keep this thing regular since I have a writing class on the schedule.

2007-10-28T16:09:00.000-07:00

“Learning” To Cook

I put learning in quotations because while I did cook with my mom as a child, and my six siblings and I spent many hours in the kitchen preparing, eating, or cleaning up one of her meals I wasn’t so much taught how to cook as allowed to absorb. My present respectable cooking abilities are proof of this—when I moved out on my own I could cook a Totino’s party pizza, and one out of five of those I burned. Further proof is that aside from her Christmas cookies (best cookies made in December, ask anyone) I only prepare one of my mom’s staple recipes: fettuccine alfredo. Not that she doesn’t have many wonderful dishes, it’s just that fettuccine afredo is the only dish with an existing list of ingredients. The rest is made up and that’s what I’ve had to do: make it up as I go.
As long as I’ve lived on my own, I’ve used my mom as 1-800-Dial-A-Cook. She is like a database of kitchen facts: How long is hamburger good? How can you tell if it’s bad? (Note: all hamburger smells bad to a vegetarian.) Can I use unsweetened cocoa cubes instead of powder? (Yes.) Just don’t ask her for a recipe. All you’ll get is: “About a cup or two of this, and maybe half a can of that. Melt some butter and add enough flour to make a white sauce.”
“What’s a white sauce?” I remember asking.
“Butter and flour.”
Ah-ha.
Drives me mad asking my mother how to make something. Unfortunately, despite the cliché, I have become my mother. I cook by handfuls and shakes. When asked for a recipe, sometimes I can pass along a list of ingredients, but it most likely had some mutations from page to platter. Even more often I find myself saying something like, “It was a kind of a combination of two recipes. Instead of using breadcrumbs I used brown rice and zucchini instead of mushrooms.”
I like to think of myself as a moderate savant. I do keep and use recipes, a collection which at this writing is undergoing a major revitalization effort to transfer them from the folder of cut out magazine pages and scribbled, water-damaged notes into a binder full of neatly written pages. However, despite my best efforts, when I cook it’s always clumsy, messy and unpredictable. Usually dinner is good, though sometimes it’s not. No dish tastes the same twice in a row until I get it perfected, which is when others want to know how to make it. I try my best, as my mom always did with me, to recall what I did, but who has that kind of perfect recall? I don’t and I was “trained” by the best.

2007-09-07T13:44:00.000-07:00

The end of August passed in a blur. We visited Spokane and extended our trip to Seattle. Actually, our hotel was in Port Orchard, which is on the Kitsap Peninsula across Puget Sound from Seattle. What an unbelievably beautiful area. My parents moved to Bremerton, also on the peninsula, so hopefully they’ll stay put long enough for us to head back and poke around a little more. Three days was not enough.

We’re back to school now but before that the kids and I visited Grandma Dianna in New York City. Alex loves New York and Greta had so much fun that the night we stayed there, between two am and five am, she was too excited to sleep. Walking the streets of New York (and riding the subways) is always a rush. I stopped by my favorite book store, The Strand, on 12th and Broadway and found it much improved and expanded since the last time I made it down there. I could have spent all day there. Both of the kids really enjoyed seeing their grandma so much that the drive felt worth it. We even got a short visit with the Dixon’s when we stayed the night to break up the drive on the way up and again on the way home.

Then came a camping trip over Labor Day weekend. I was not looking forward to this trip at all. It would make four weekends in a row that the kids and I had not been home. But, the Hogan’s were camping with two-month-old Brody (paying us back for last year when we went camping with a two-month-old Greta.) I’d also heard that there was some good mountain biking to be had, so I reluctantly pulled the gear out of the attic and less reluctantly pulled my bike out of the shed—first time in about two years the poor thing had seen the light of day. Jeremy and I didn’t get to ride together due to the kid factor, but we both got to ride the two trails with one group or another. I’m still on a bike-high so this Sunday, for our 12th anniversary, we’re hitting the trails again for a romantic ride-a-deux.

Our big news of the week was Alex starting his first day of kindergarten. He had a great week and I’m thankful. His first day he came home and said school was boring—they had to sit and listen all day. Fortunately, it’s gotten better since then, but I think the bus, school lunch, and recess are trumping the actual learning so far. Oh well, I’ll take what I can get.

2007-08-07T08:45:00.001-07:00

The Traveling Pugh Show

We’re shuttling across the country this week, on our way to Spokane, WA to visit my family. Siblings from L.A. and Salt Lake are also meeting up where my parents live to celebrate my grandma’s 90th birthday. (Go Florence! It’s your birthday!) My parents, grandma, and two younger brothers moved to Washington about a year ago and this will be my first time in Washington. I always enjoy the chance to go someplace new and I’ve heard great things about this part of the country. The monumental amount of planning involved in getting a family of four on the road is the price I have to pay, I guess—on top of the monumental price we have to pay for air, rental car, hotel, etc.

In the midst of arranging for a crib at the hotel, late check-in and discovering our rental car company doesn’t provide car seats, we found out we have a lame dog. That’s not an insult, but the vet’s diagnosis: Floyd has a partially torn ACL, which will require surgery. Poor puppy. And poor Pugh’s too, 'cause our insurance doesn’t cover canine causes. In the three days I’ll have between returning from Spokane and heading out again with the kids to visit my mom-in-law in NYC I have to take Floyd to the surgeon to find out the game plan. Until then he’ll be doped up. Any of you who know Floyd are probably wondering, “How exactly does one tell a doped up Floyd from the everyday Floyd?”

This is Floyd:

This is Floyd on drugs:

Any questions?

I’ll try and post from the road, but I can’t promise anything. Eight days seems like a long time in theory, but vacations have a way of warping time. One minute you seem to have the whole trip in front of you and the next it’s time to head home. In between you can count on at least one family drama, a kid melting down in public, forgetting one essential item, and enough photo opportunities to permanently damage your retinas.

2007-07-27T13:15:00.000-07:00

I’m trying to climb out of my book binge. Never easy. I, of course, read the new Harry Potter, but more on that later. Most of my reading material had been in the magazine form because articles and short fiction fit so well into the short snippets of time that I have between fishing foreign objects from my one-year-old’s mouth and fielding my five-year-old’s cryptic questions (“Did we park the wrong way or the right way? …er, right?). The New Yorker Summer Fiction issue was exceptional this year, especially Wildwood by Junot Diaz. I also got turned on to Breece D’J Pancake this summer and I’ve enjoyed his short fiction. I’m still trying to dig my teeth into Irving’s newest, but time is running out. It’s a library book for one and my open season on reading time is limited. I hate spinning my wheels. Lolly Winton’s new novel Happiness Not Included was a really good read. Her characters were all so sympathetic that the ending was both inevitable and a surprise. Not simple to pull off.

Then there’s J.K. Rowling and her epic story. I had so much fun reading the Harry Potter books. Rowling reminded me why I want to write: I love stories. What an amazing accomplishment to weave a tale that captures the entire world. Incredible. I’d like to read it again now that I know what happens in the end. Maybe I won’t read so compulsively next time. I also got a list of books from my professor for fall semester, (I know, boo! It’s semester break, right?) Problem is, I know absolutely nothing about Medieval Epic and Romance literature. I only recently learned to spell Medieval. I won’t be able to focus on the writing and revising we’ll do in class if I’m completely ignorant of the literature.

If there’s one thing that signals the end of summer, it’s the trading of novels for textbooks. We’re off to Spokane, WA to help my Grandma celebrate her 90th birthday for ten days in August and even though we have a month of summer left, so much of it’s already booked (add a trip to New York and camping to the Spokane vacation.) I hate to see summer go, but now that I live in Virginia I’ve learned a new appreciation for fall – at least the mosquitoes are dead.

2007-07-16T07:44:00.000-07:00

Finally, summer semester is over. Can I get a hallelujah?

I have lots of projects I want to get done between now and the end of August when Fall semester starts, most of them writing related. I’d like to make this blog weekly instead of monthly/sporadic. I intended to use the blog as a view into the writing and revision process, but other than the one short short story I worked on, everything else it too long to expect anyone to read (twice!) so I decided to switch formats to a column-type post once a week. This week’s topic is: Why I don’t do well in crowds.

I bring this up because the family spent Saturday at an amusement park—crowd hell. It was Jeremy’s office family day at Busch Gardens, a nice enough park if you enjoy lines. We waited in line to park, to get through the gate, to go to the bathroom, to get food, to get on rides, and when you consider the crowds, we basically waited in line to walk down the paths. We had with us both Alex and Greta and we brought along Alex’s buddy Drew. The five-year-olds were in heaven. Greta—not so much. She had to spend the entire day moving from one container to the other.

As much as I wanted to leave at certain points of the day, there were other moments that were very cool and reminded me that I too once looked forward to my dad’s work-sponsored amusement park day even though, to keep track of all seven of their children, my parents made us all wear the same retarded t-shirt and despite the embarrassment, I mean effort, they always had to fetch one of their children from the lost kid room near the entrance. One minute I’m wearing the shirt of shame and the next I’m dressing my son and daughter in the brightest tie-dye shirts they own.

This year we took Alex on his first “big” ride. He had been asking all day to go on a ride that went “fast” and we finally found one that if we messed up his hair and he stood up as tall as possible, he could just meet the height requirement. It happened to be the magic carpet-type ride, one of my favorites. Drew said no, then yes, then no, he wasn’t quite ready so it was just Alex and me. We laughed the entire ride and as soon as we got off he said, “Let’s go again!” This time, Drew decided if Alex had fun, then maybe he would too. Jeremy got to go this time while I let Greta stretch her chubby legs using her stroller as a walker. When they got off the ride this time Alex again said, “Let’s go again!” Drew said, “No fanks.” I guess it wasn’t his cup of tea after all but we were very impressed that he’d give it a shot even though he was obviously pretty nervous about it.

Anyway, after that we stopped by a fast food joint for some horrible service and even worse food (but at least it didn’t cost us $100) and headed home to the sweet sounds of Greta screaming in the back seat.

The good news is Jeremy took the opportunity to upgrade our free passes to season tickets so we get to repeat the experience as often as we want! I suggested next time we leave the kids at home and have a roller coaster riding date night on a Monday when the crowds are thin and I can ride all the rides I want because the magic carpet ride reminded me why I used to love amusement parks so much: roller coasters!

2007-06-21T19:11:00.000-07:00

Well, I didn’t quite make my goal of 300, words. I pared it from 450 to 350 and I think if I deleted any more it would be a different story. Maybe it already is. What do you think? Is it better or worse for the editing? The original is back on the 1/31/07 post. If nothing else, it was a good exercise. Truly amazing what uselessness you find when you’re word counting. Here’s the revised version…

Change of Heart

The air outside smelled of daffodils and dandelions pushing up through the dirt, so strong with spring you could get drunk from one deep breath. I came outside to shake the scent of dust and bat shit out of my hair. I took deep breath and started laughing—I was crying, cheeks cramped, before I could get control of myself again.
Jaime pulled up in his driveway. Behind the stack of Thai take-out he still wore a scowl from the fight we’d been having. He walked around the hedge that separated his driveway from where I stood: back porch of the dead neighbor with no living relatives. One offer to mow the lawn, turned friendship, turned certified letter bequeathing the entire contents of his house to Jaime. It had taken us three days to sift through the rambler and conclude that the Salvation Army was going to score. All we had left was the attic, but of all the crammed-full-of-crap corners it was by far the worst: tax returns from the sixties and twenty boxes of Christmas decorations—not the porcelain nativity type, but the tinsel variety. I was beginning to reconsider my resolution to give Jaime and me one more chance.
What a difference a bag of cash can make.
I didn’t feel great about the fact that it took finding the old man’s stash of money to make me realize I should admire Jaime’s effort in memory of a man he’d barely known. He was going to come out of it on top by about 30-grand—proof enough for me that the universe approved of his efforts.
From the back porch I heard Jaime call my name then clomp up the pull-down ladder. The duffel bag was back where I’d found it, on top of the last stack of boxes, so he could experience the rush of finding it himself.
I waited a few minutes and made my way back to the attic. Jaime was in the corner. The duffel bag was lying, deflated on top of the “toss’ mound.
“Looks like we’re just about finished,” he said.

2007-06-20T07:12:00.000-07:00

Happy Birthday to Greta! I can't believe my baby is one today. Last year has to be the fastest moving year on record. We had Jeremy's parents in town last week and it was a wonderful visit. Jeremy and David put a playset/fort up in the backyard and we had a small cook out with a few friend to celebrate Greta's birthday. Today Alex and I are going to take her to the play area at the mall and maybe let her pick out a toy from the store. Not that she needs anymore. We have toys and baby clothes coming out our ears. Anyone need a baby girl wardrobe?

As far as the writing bug goes, I think I've finally been infected again. I dusted off my notebook which has been oft neglected this last year and I've recommitted to crack it open once a day. I knew that this first year of Greta's life would take me away from writing - it did when Alex was born. Honestly, I was pretty content to get consumed by that Mom/Baby bond, but it's time to begin the separation process and let the writer piece of the pie get a bigger share of my time than the sliver it's had lately.

In addition to the notebook I've spent some time researching markets. I have two stories I think are ready and I'm going to send one out to all six and as I hear back I'll send the other out. I also found a market for my short short that I posted a while ago. I need to make it shorter (by quite a bit - at leas 100 words) and clear up a few muddy spots that were brought up in workshop. I'll post it tomorrow when I've finished.

2007-05-18T07:10:00.000-07:00

What? A new entry on this dusty, abandoned blog? ‘Tis true. Sorry for the absence. No excuse save finals. I’m happy to report that my hiatus paid off - another three A’s to add to the 4.0 and I brag only because it was a very close call this semester. I think my Italian grade came from the graces of my professoressa who I’d had for four semesters because it definitely wasn’t thanks to my test scores. So, thank you Professoressa Wallace, not just for the grade, but for two years of excellent foreign language classes. I’ve been at this school thing for a while and can attest to the rarity of truly inspiring teachers. Teachers, who not only impart knowledge, but excite their students as well. After a couple of years teaching yoga I decided to return to college to eventually become a teacher of literature and writing – my true passions. I only hope that I can live up to examples set by some of the great teachers I’ve had over the years like Mrs. Patterson, my third grade teacher who infected me with the writing bug years ago. Every week we wrote a poem in class and each week she’d pick one student’s poem and design a bulletin board around it. I will never forget that soaring feeling when I came into the room and saw my name next to my words on such a grand scale.

As is my usual semester break tradition, I’ve been book binging. I finished the newest Adrianna Trigiani novel and can’t say I’d recommend it. I only finished it because I was familiar with the characters from the previous novels. It seemed like a bunch of explication to me – no tension. Now I’m reading a novel called “Lost Hearts in Italy.” I love being able to understand the Italian phrases and it’s very well written – author is Andrea Lee. I’ll withhold a full endorsement until I’ve finished it. I haven’t been writing much because….because it’s hard, that’s why. And also because I’ve been pretty contented and busy. I spend my days playing with my kids. Greta is absolutely the most adorable, sweet-natured baby girl on the planet and that makes for one whopper of a distraction. I stuck a picture in so you'll see what I mean. I’ll get back into a rhythm. The same thing happened the year after I had Alex. It’s easy, especially for mothers, to get lost in a relationship with an infant. I’ll come out the other side, but in the meantime I’m going to enjoy being consumed because as I’ve found out with my 5-year-old, they become independent pretty fast. I do have a couple of stories to show for the last few months thanks to my writing class. One brand new and one reworked. They both need a little more attention. I do have a handful of stories that I am considering putting out there. I need to pick up a new copy of some market book and start sending. Rejection sucks, but so does sitting on work.

Va bene, basta!
(okay, enough!)

2007-02-22T11:43:00.001-08:00

I haven't had a chance to post a revised version of the one-pager, but I will soon. I didn't get too much critical feedback from workshop - mostly positive. I do think I need to work on describing the setting and character placement a little better, so I'll see what I can do with the rewrite.

The next story was due a few days ago, but I won't fall into the workshop line-up for another few weeks. I decided to hand in an older story that I wrote and abandoned years ago. The piece has been haunting me and I'm glad to have finally given it some more attention. The protagonist has amnesia from a brain injury and I was intimidated by the technical subject matter. Amazing what a little research can do. I've also taken a psychology class in the time since I wrote the first draft and one of the sections focused on brain injuries and amnesia, together with the research I feel pretty confident about the details. We'll see if the workshop agrees. What was amazing to me was that once I went back to the story armed with facts I had to change very little of the original draft, which basically came out of thin air. Seems the character knew what he was taking about. Guess that's why they call it the "Spooky Art."

The next story I'd like to start from scratch. Not that there aren't thirty other stories I've already written and would like feedback on, but because I haven't started a new story in a while and I miss it. The creation of a new character and a new world is by far my favorite part of the writing process. I'm going back to fertile short story territory for me: three words and blank notebook pages. The three-word trick started years ago with my writing buddy Leaf - we'd pick three words and each use them in a story. Leaf writes horror and I write more commercial/literary type fiction, so you can imagine that the use of words varied greatly. I love starting out with three little building blocks - words - a story broken down into it's most basic element, and watching what develops from there.

So for this next story I'm going with: draft, tick, and arch.

2007-02-22T11:43:00.000-08:00

2007-01-31T06:53:00.000-08:00

Back to school. Spring semester is underway and so far all is under control. I ended up getting the writing class I wanted. Having fiction writing and reading for homework will make the 9-credit class load a little easier. My other two classes are Italian and Astronomy. I consider physics just as much of a foreign language as Italian and both are going to be a challenge. That 4.0 gets harder to maintain every semester. I'm positing my first writing assignment - a one-page story, set in an attic, and my assigned emotional core was Disillusionment. Because it's such a short piece, I thought I'd post a before workshop copy and another one after I've had a chance to get some feedback and edit.

Change of Heart

The air outside was so strong with spring you could get drunk from one deep breath. The sunshine smelled of daffodils and dandelions pushing up through the dirt. I came outside to catch a whiff of the perfume and shake the scent of mold and dust and bat shit out of my hair. My hands were shaking. I took another deep breath and started laughing. I was crying, cheeks cramped before I could get myself under control again. Jaime pulled up in his driveway next door. Behind the stack of Thai take-out he still wore a scowl from the fight we’d been having before he left to pick up lunch. He walked around the hedge separating his driveway from that of his current charity project: the neighbor with no living relatives. Last summer Jaime had offered to mow his lawn; the arrangement developed into a friendship and after the old man died, a certified letter arrived bequeathing the entire contents of his house to Jaime.
It had taken us three days to sift through the two-bedroom rambler and conclude that the Salvation Army was going to score. We left the attic for last and of all the crammed-full-of-crap corners in the house it was by far the worst. After a morning spent sifting through tax returns dating back to the sixties and no less than twenty boxes of Christmas decorations—not the porcelain nativity type, but the tinsel variety suggesting devout agnostic beliefs—I was seriously reconsidering my resolution to give Jaime and me one more chance. And I think my inability to hold back the sarcasm had Jaime thinking the same thing.
What a difference a bag full of cash can make.
I’d been such a jerk about this whole neighbor thing and I didn’t feel too great about the fact that it took finding the old man’s stash of money to make me realize I should admire Jaime, not harangue him. He was going to all this effort in memory of a man he’d known less than a year. That he was going to come out of it on top by about 30-grand was proof enough for me that the universe approved of his efforts.
From the back porch I heard Jaime call my name then clomp up the pull-down ladder. I had put the duffel bag back where I’d found it, on top of the last stack of boxes, so he could experience the rush of finding it himself.
After five minutes I couldn’t take it anymore and made my way back to the attic. Jaime was in the corner. The duffel bag was lying, deflated, on top of the “toss” mound.
“Looks like we’re just about finished,” he said.

2006-11-20T18:07:00.000-08:00

Well, I left of last time awaiting the outcome of elections, and I’m happy to say that the GOP was shown the way OUT. Being from the west and much more liberal than many of my fellow Virginians, I don’t often feel very connected with the majority around here, but I am very proud to be known as a Virginian these days. Hopefully we can start to undo some of the damage caused in the last six years.

On to lighter topics…the visit with my family was amazing. We had such a great time. There were four generations of Rasmussen women in the same room and it was very cool. My grandma, world traveler at the tender age of 89, is my hero. I’m so lucky that she came all the way from Washington. I loved watching my mom, dad, brothers, and Grandma hold my baby girl. It was also very cool to see Alex continue building his relationship with my family.

My in-laws are next. They arrive tomorrow and will spend Thanksgiving with us and be here for Alex’s fifth birthday. Man oh man, does having a five year old make ME sound old or what? I just had a birthday also, so that probably has something to do with it. I don’t have the energy to go all morose right now, though. A good friend of mine is in the hospital tonight with her baby girl, a week older than Greta, she will be fine, just getting over a bad respiratory infection, but it reminded me to be thankful for heath. It’s very easy to take that one for granted.

I haven’t had a chance to figure out how to link Acrobat files, thus no fiction to share as of yet, but once I’m done with the semester in a couple of weeks I’ll try to play around a bit more.

2006-11-07T08:42:00.000-08:00

Greta has her first cold. A baby with a stuffy nose is the saddest thing in the world. There's not a thing she or I can do, but suffer through the congestion. Yesterday was a little grumpy, but she's still a the happiest baby I've ever been around, even on her bad days.

I just got back from voting. Crossing my fingers that today the citizens of the Unites States will attempt to make up for the disgrace of re-electing Bush and vote some democrats into the House and Senate to temper the damage he can do before his time is up. A democracy is an extention of it's citizens and after Bush was re-elected I worried that the majority of the U.S. was too stupid, scared, brain-washed, lazy, whatever, to be awarded the priviledge of having a vote. One thing the Bush administration has taught us is that our government has the ability to do great harm (to the environment, humanity, world peace, the national budget, take your pick.) Perhaps we will see some sense come through at last. If not, I may have to move out of the country. Too bad Canada is so cold!

My mom, dad, grandma, and two of my younger (no longer little) brothers are coming for a visit in two days. Instead of writing here I should be cleaning my house. It's only fair to the poor structure to dust it off every other month. (Wish I was kidding.) I manage to stay on top of Swiftering the floors, because if I didn't the dog hair would literally bury us in less than two weeks. I keep the dishes moving in a nice, orderly fashion from the dishwasher to the cubboard and back. And I can plow through four or five loads of laundry a week. But, heaven help the bathrooms in this house. I feel like I need to shower after I get out of the shower. So, I'm going to fold up the laptop, ignore the Book section from Sunday's paper for one more day and start to scrub!

2006-11-02T10:23:00.000-08:00

Wendy & Brigette
Many moons ago
Before we had kids
We were kids

2006-11-02T06:45:00.000-08:00

A few days ago I found out that Wendy, one of my oldest and best friends, passed away suddenly from an accidental overdose. I've been staying away from my notebook because writing it down seems too real. I thought typing would be easier than setting it down in ink. I've spent the past few days feeling heart-broken, angry, confused, lucky (then nervous) and that's all within the course of any given hour. Mostly I feel like not wasting anymore time saying "someday I want to..."

As a writer, I've felt that starting a blog would be a natural extension of what I attempt on paper and a way to share my work, but as a mom of two, college student, yoga teacher, wife...it's hard to find time to do anything more than tread water. Sounds like a pretty lame excuse all of the sudden. Wendy was one of the biggest champions of my writing. She always wanted to read my stories, novel, screenplay, whatever I'd hand over. She encouraged me and asked for more, but mostly she wanted to know when she was going to be able to buy my book. I can't promise that I'll publish a book for her because those decisions are up to too many other people, but I can commit to doing more with the minutes of my day.

I'm not sure what I have in mind for this page. I'll probably post stories, mini essays, and complain a lot about the challenges of raising a four-month-old and four-year-old. Give me a few days to play around...